I'm not dead. Just busy busying myself, I guess, and feeling very hibernatey. I tend to get very depressed during the winter and so I keep to myself mostly. Working out is never a challenge for me as I can get it in various forms, but running has been a struggle lately, which sucks. My eating has gotten a bit out of control as well, but I am getting myself in order once more. I've gained a bit, but I'm sure it's just sodium from Thanksgiving. I've recently had to put two new holes into my belt. I remember when I first got this belt: it was right before the summer and I was on the first hole; it's a 2XL women's belt and now I've had to make two extra holes. I thought I'd be good with the first one, but I then had to make another because it wasn't tight enough. My size 16 pants all gather with fabric at the top of the belt now, so that's pretty awesome. My size 14's are even too big, but size 12 still doesn't feel right. I like my pants to fit kind of loose because I ride my bike in my street clothes, so size 14 and 16 it is until 12 gets a bit less form-fitting.
ALL of my pants give me the dreaded "sag ass" now, which is really very annoying; I just have no ass left over. My mother even commented on that the other day and she's not very observant, though I love her. Well, she's observant about the things I haven't done around the house versus the things I HAVE, but that's another story. Anyway, she walked past me as I was feeding our animals and she says to me: "You have really lost a lot of weight, you know; you have a tiny little butt!" Why it is that I continue to lose weight in my ass and not my stomach is a mystery to me; I could use a little more padding on my derrierre--for the pilates and biking if nothing else, but yes, for vain reasons as well.
Anyway, pilates has done my body good. I am so much more flexible now, which was an effect I wasn't really expecting, but then what is pilates but deeply stretching and flexing your muscles? Anyway, I was poking my sides the other day and to my surprise...I have muscle beneath the fat there. It's a strange experience to poke your side, go past the feeling of fat, and feel rock hard muscle. Maybe it's not so much fat but loose skin covering the muscle, which is disconcerting, but expected.
Also, I attempted 12 miles the other day again, and I was doing SO WELL. It was a great pace, my friend stuck by me, and then at around the middle of the 11th mile my entire leg seized up in the middle of the street as I was running across it and I almost fell flat on my face. I was like "I'm finnnne, I can walk this off" but it felt like a Charlie Horse and it would not unlock for another five-ish minutes; it was excrutiating. I took an ice water bath after my friend's boyfriend picked us up and I stayed over his apartment that night, which ended up being fun; I haven't hung out with her for a bit just to hang out. We're either in school or working out.
I've decided to join a gym; it's my Christmas present in fact. This will be good. I've started looking at weight lifting books and my friend's brother is willing to help us as he goes to the same gym. He's not a trainer or anything, but he is ripped and knows what he's doing, though I told him, "Look, we're girls. Don't go easy on us, but just keep that in mind." And because I'm joining the gym I'm going to drop Weight Watchers for a while.
Dude, I'm gonna get RIPPED. Hopefully.