Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Reality check

Tonight I watched Biggest Loser with my mom, which made me really happy because I usually just watch it by myself because no one wants to watch it with me or I have it recorded with the DTV and watch it after my gym sessions (beautiful invention, the DTV). Anyway, so Nicole comes back, right? And she's trying on a wedding dress in a size 12 and I was telling my mom "wait...so I'm around her size?" and she looked pretty small to me...and I felt like I looked much much bigger. I told my mom as much and she looks at me and tells me, "you're pretty small now, Sarah". That made me feel pretty good!

It was weird...when I fit in those size 10's my friend's comment was "you're going to be a size zero when you're done". I have smaller hips than she does, so even though I weigh 25 more pounds than she does (and I'm 2 inches shoter), I'm still around her pant size. I told her I didn't feel like I looked like a size ten. I look in the mirror and still see a size 20 body. It would be nice to have my brain catch up already. XD

Sunday, March 29, 2009

size ten!!!!


my ass fit in a size ten!

I tried them on for shits and giggles, wondering how far I had to go. They fit PERFECTLY. It freaked me out! I did a little dance in the fitting room.

I didn't get them because they were 30 bucks and I always have to hem pants (I am so so short), and I just got a few pairs of size 12's, one I bought and one I got hand me down from my friend who's also losing weight. I'll get some new pants when I'm a size 8. I'm so excited! When I was a size 24 I thought I would stop when I was a size 10, but now that my goal is to be a hardcore fit gym rat I'm not stopping until I'm 15% body fat. Currently I'm still around 36-38% body fat.

I CANNOT believe I am a size 10!

Saturday, March 28, 2009

Down 80+ pounds!

I haven't weighed in a while.

I just hopped on the scale.

174!!! 5 pounds to the 160's? CRAZY.

I am down 82.4 pounds :) I am losing weight so painfully slowly, but...that's just how it's always been for me. I am convinced it's better this way because I will keep it off.

My size 12's....are BAGGY on me. That simply blows my mind, to tell you the truth. And I bought a watch last week....which I had to take to a jeweler so that I could have links taken out because my wrist was too small for the watch.

I'm getting a broccoli rabbe panini to celebrate. LOL.

Thursday, March 26, 2009


Sorry I've been sort of MIA. School, work, and other things have sort of prevented me from being at the computer. Most of the time I'm just too tired to write anything.

I've been doing well, though. I got myself a nano iPod and nike plus and I am loving it. I did an 8 mile run last Saturday with it and I am happy to report that I averaged an 11 minute mile, completing the 8 miles in 1 hour and 29 minutes. When I did the Chris Hoban run in September of 2008 I averaged a 12:32 min/mile and I completed the 5 miles in an hour and 2 minutes. I'm not sure if that's a big difference, but I'll take it. :)

I can run an 8.0 on the treadmill for over a minute. That, to me, is pretty cool. On an incline, as well. Hm.

I'm going to a muay thai class on Saturday. That should be fun. Wheeee. I was told I wouldn't be able to move after it.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

Yoga, Half Marathon Training

My yoga class is KICKING my ass. Actually, it's killing my quads more like it, which is good because I have some super thunder thighs. I will happily murder them, haha.

Who's over the winter? I am definitely trying hard not to drag my feet around. Every time it's a nice day I bring out my new Spring purse. Desperate much? Though, after the spring comes the summer, and I have some not-s0-fond memories of puking gatorade like no one's business when it was 95 degrees and I had just run 5 miles.

I am soooo sore from Wednesday's speed work + yoga. 45 minutes of going from speed walking to all-out sprints? No joke. Possibly harder than running 10 miles. 2 hours of yoga? Serious business.

I'm doing the Long Island 1/2 in May. Yay! About time, huh?

Monday, March 9, 2009

I love my job. Everything else in my life, including friends, is stressing me out recently, though. This is strange for me.

I am getting sick of the strict bodybuilding diet. I think it was too many calories for me. My personal trainer dumped me. I have a lot of things to stress out about now that Bio class has started. I want things to be less complicated than they are but wishing and wanting only makes me depressed. I want to go with the flow more, though...it just isn't happening and I don't know why.


I am 179.

I am starting to feel run down from how hard I am trying to trick my body. I am also starting to resent running....If I run, I maintain...If I don't, I gain. There is no loss. My body has gotten used to running, so I may as well just not even count it as exercise.

Sunday, March 1, 2009

Protein woes

I went to my local supermarket today and was brainstorming more ways of getting in more protein. It's tough when you don't like meat too much. I'm not a vegetarian, but I sort of eat like one. I've just started eating deli turkey for the protein and it's actually not bad. I've started to look forward to my sandwiches, actually.

I'm having a really tough time transitioning to this type of diet. Sometimes I swear I have borderline OCD, which I will not really go into because I'm obsessive in a lot of areas of my life, but change is incredibly hard for me, and this is a really big leap from how I was eating. I lost 70 pounds by eating the things I love in moderation...so if I wanted ice cream, I would have it...just have less. Well, this diet plan is very very strict. I am not allowed to cheat AT ALL until I get down to my goal weight. I am sure life will intervene and I will cheat somewhere, but then I will have to get right back on track. I have a lot of willpower...but that is a tough thing to accept. Eating the way I did, however, contributed to my excess skin problem (too many carbs contributed to my daily intake, not nearly enough protein). So any time I cheat I really have to think about the damage I already made and what I have to do to correct it......it really feels like punishment a lot of the time, though.

I've been feeling incredibly bitter for the past few weeks. What I have to keep reminding myself, though, is that I am not like everyone else. Many people can eat whatever they want in moderation and keep losing weight....but not me.

So I bought a bunch of high protein things at the supermarket and hopefully I will lose something next week. I've decided to train with the personal trainer for another two months and see where that takes me...after that...I'll see.