Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Spoiled Brat

Yay, I just got back from the gym. :) I have to pat myself on the back because I was fiddling around with the bars today. My friend can't lift anything heavy or run until Sunday so we haven't started lifting together, but I've started acquainting myself with which machines work for me and which don't and how much weight I have to start out with. I also started running again, though I'm still not 100% and it's going to take a little while to get back to where I was. Most of it is mental, though. I can feel myself holding back.

I have my second interview tomorrow, so I'm excited/nervous, but word is that everyone who works in the home is saying that I am starting, so that means I got the job, I think. The interview might just be a formality for the manager to meet with me. I'm worried that I won't be able to handle it...did I bite off more than I can chew? I don't know. I guess I'll see. I can't psych myself out before I even start. That's not a good way to be. I just know it's going to be very difficult, especially with school. I have never worked and gone to school full time before and I'm a spoiled brat. The idea of having so much responsibility with these people who are going to be counting on me is scary. There, I admit it. XD


zurplemoon said...

you so can have that job. you have come so far in this last year. you can do this. if it doesn't happen something else will. just remember to breath and relax.

kris_tea said...

I'm a spoiled brat too. The only job I had while in school was an office type job that I could pretty much come & go as I pleased as long as I got in a certain amount of hours each day & that was while I was a part time student & the other was a pretty easy xray job while I was finishing up my degree which consisted of online classes & the occasional video conference class. Both were ridiculously easy. I was spoiled too. :)

I feel I'm holding myself back a bit when running too. Especially, on the last bit of interval training. I can run 10 min no problem but then, after a short walk, a 3-5 min is almost impossible & I usually give in before I should. But I'm doing it & that is all that reall matters right? You're right though, it is totally a mental thing. I don't think I can finish so I don't. I start thinking of tripping, having an asthma attack (I don't even have asthma), having a heart attack, etc... & panic a bit. I know my body can handle it but my legs begin to feel all sluggish & heavy. Stupid last 5 min! :)